At last I'm able to post these few bits of doggerel from Schiphol airport, Amsterdam, while waiting for my flight back to Bristol. The Chinese authorities prevent access to Google-based blogs (and to FaceBook), so I was thwarted from posting the verses contemporaneously.
In the meantime - enjoy both text and photos!
Bike trips
Thursday 2 June 2011
CHINA BIKE RIDE
Prologue
Pre-conceptions began in Nanjing
Where the Treaty of 1842
Gave Hong Kong a lease from Pekin,
Colonial ways conceded too.
My father served on the China Station
1930s - with the Royal Navy
Frigates to quell trouble then would hasten
Tho' time was left to play and be lazy.
While gunboats patrolled upon the Yangzte
Manned by young men dressed in their whites
Little they thought of the future fancy
Mother river being dammed, doubling heights.
China leaving the gold standard
Gave sailors a chance of a killing-
Exchange rates aboard and to landward
Profited some, with many a shilling.
Now it's in China that fortunes are made
Producing iPads, clothes, and even shoes.
When memories of home begin to fade
The artefacts come out, us to enthuse
Pre-conceptions began in Nanjing
Where the Treaty of 1842
Gave Hong Kong a lease from Pekin,
Colonial ways conceded too.
My father served on the China Station
1930s - with the Royal Navy
Frigates to quell trouble then would hasten
Tho' time was left to play and be lazy.
While gunboats patrolled upon the Yangzte
Manned by young men dressed in their whites
Little they thought of the future fancy
Mother river being dammed, doubling heights.
China leaving the gold standard
Gave sailors a chance of a killing-
Exchange rates aboard and to landward
Profited some, with many a shilling.
Now it's in China that fortunes are made
Producing iPads, clothes, and even shoes.
When memories of home begin to fade
The artefacts come out, us to enthuse
The first few days
Day One - the flight to China
(reading China Road by Rob Gifford)
Flew Air France from Charles de Gaulle
Ten hours flight time to Guangzhou
Realised belatedly, we're quite tall,
Cramped in a 777, me and you.
Clive had flown that day from Heathrow
Dropped off by Linda, without his bike;
"Wu liu" logistics will make things flow
And Gifford's book I rather like.
Our China Road will be quite different
With World Expeditions at the helm;
Expect to hear a lot of comment
From bikes, as we tour the "realm"!
Monsieur - Attachez les ceintures!
Mangez francais ou a la chinoise?
Worry no more about damn denture
Dreamt of Verdi and his choirs.
Well that's enough for just one flight
Tomorrow will bring some reality
And so I wish you all goodnight
To dream Communist practicality.
Day Two - from Guangzhou to Zhaoqing
Met by Frank who runs our agenda
Hotel Canton thence by van;
Team meeting with lovely Brenda,
Richard, Pete and Stan the man!
Round a table trying chopsticks
Drinking beer and eating rice
Lazy Susan's foodie bowl mix
Some of which was also nice!
Drove forever through the city
West along a crowded highway
A car on fire, more's the pity,
Disembarked at little Xiaozhou
Now on bikes we cycled westward,
An embankment was our dusty path
By West River churning seaward
We're having fun and quite a laugh,
Saw fisherfolk beside the water,
Buffalo all caked in mud
Oncoming bikes where they didn't oughter
The MTB's coping with the crud.
Lunch en route, more of the same,
Then scary highway, cars and roadworks
Where topiary's the name of the game,
To Songtao Hotel, where by a lake it lurks
Over supper Frank waxed so lyrical
Chiang Kai Shek and Mao Ze Dong
History explained - it was political
Told what fuels the current boom.
Sure it ain't all communism
Sick and incapable left to starve
Much more rampant capitalism
Rushing on, the pie to carve
Day three - trip to Mt Dinghu and Boading Park
Today a rest day in the park
Said Stan, but was not to be-
Zhaoqing Dadao on cycles, hark!
Crossed six lanes with not much glee
After lunch - more rice and chillie
Climbed up on up to visit Buddha
Thinking this was really hilly
Tortoise coining made us gooder
Learnt from Frank the Chinese characters
Meaning "environment" and "wind"
5,000 minimum parameters
Thousands more are there to find.
Awesome aubergine we ate tonight
At last a meal to savour
Chicken, cashew, pakchoi, right-
And moderate behaviour!
Then in the dark the stalker struck
Clipboard poised, persistent bit
Of unrelenting down on her luck
Till poof! We did a five way split.
Tomorrow there'll be lots more cycling
Promised Frank, a smile upon his face
9am start and no more hiking
Great how well he knows this place
(reading China Road by Rob Gifford)
Flew Air France from Charles de Gaulle
Ten hours flight time to Guangzhou
Realised belatedly, we're quite tall,
Cramped in a 777, me and you.
Clive had flown that day from Heathrow
Dropped off by Linda, without his bike;
"Wu liu" logistics will make things flow
And Gifford's book I rather like.
Our China Road will be quite different
With World Expeditions at the helm;
Expect to hear a lot of comment
From bikes, as we tour the "realm"!
Monsieur - Attachez les ceintures!
Mangez francais ou a la chinoise?
Worry no more about damn denture
Dreamt of Verdi and his choirs.
Well that's enough for just one flight
Tomorrow will bring some reality
And so I wish you all goodnight
To dream Communist practicality.
Day Two - from Guangzhou to Zhaoqing
Met by Frank who runs our agenda
Hotel Canton thence by van;
Team meeting with lovely Brenda,
Richard, Pete and Stan the man!
Round a table trying chopsticks
Drinking beer and eating rice
Lazy Susan's foodie bowl mix
Some of which was also nice!
Drove forever through the city
West along a crowded highway
A car on fire, more's the pity,
Disembarked at little Xiaozhou
Now on bikes we cycled westward,
An embankment was our dusty path
By West River churning seaward
We're having fun and quite a laugh,
Saw fisherfolk beside the water,
Buffalo all caked in mud
Oncoming bikes where they didn't oughter
The MTB's coping with the crud.
Lunch en route, more of the same,
Then scary highway, cars and roadworks
Where topiary's the name of the game,
To Songtao Hotel, where by a lake it lurks
Over supper Frank waxed so lyrical
Chiang Kai Shek and Mao Ze Dong
History explained - it was political
Told what fuels the current boom.
Sure it ain't all communism
Sick and incapable left to starve
Much more rampant capitalism
Rushing on, the pie to carve
Day three - trip to Mt Dinghu and Boading Park
Today a rest day in the park
Said Stan, but was not to be-
Zhaoqing Dadao on cycles, hark!
Crossed six lanes with not much glee
After lunch - more rice and chillie
Climbed up on up to visit Buddha
Thinking this was really hilly
Tortoise coining made us gooder
Learnt from Frank the Chinese characters
Meaning "environment" and "wind"
5,000 minimum parameters
Thousands more are there to find.
Awesome aubergine we ate tonight
At last a meal to savour
Chicken, cashew, pakchoi, right-
And moderate behaviour!
Then in the dark the stalker struck
Clipboard poised, persistent bit
Of unrelenting down on her luck
Till poof! We did a five way split.
Tomorrow there'll be lots more cycling
Promised Frank, a smile upon his face
9am start and no more hiking
Great how well he knows this place
Day 4 Zhaoqing to Qing Yuan
Frank has nine lives, we discovered
Leading us through traffic all swirling,
The secret of pure tea uncovered,
The temperature outside was boiling.
Stan's lychees were surprisingly tasty
And Rick's dancing on pedals was fine
Slip-streaming a tuk tuk was hasty
And Brenda asked for our Zodiac sign
The picnic was simply humungous
Peanut butter on slices of bread
For supper we had chillie and fungus
I think China's going to my head.
Tonight we really had a fright
As boys robbed girls right before us
Clive to the rescue - what a sight!
Just hope the cops will ignore us.
Day 5 Qing Yuan to Jiu Long
After exiting Qing along Happy Valley
We embarked once more on bikes
A bit of banter, shilly shally
Clive and Ken became look-a-likes!
Some hills appeared as if on cue
With gradients unsympathetic
The silkworm's life was mostly new,
Entirely peripatetic
Karst scenery finally came and stayed
While we stopped and snapped
For some of us the day it made,
Most other hills they capped
Rounded off in the Caves of Heaven
Wearing life-jackets in a punt
Well behaved, Frank's team of seven
For photos we did hunt
Day 6 Jiu Long to Yangshan
Roads in China get built as you ride them,
Concrete swathes disgorging in ribbons,
Villagers gaze, don't seem to mind them
Eager to help though nothing to sit on.
We've learnt the Chinese Rule of the Road
Keep moving and do not hesitate!
Accidents can happen despite the code
For some today that was their fate
Scooter carrying one plus two
Met bike on opposite side
For us there was no time to rue
Went to help, but one man died.
Lunch thereafter was somewhat subdued
But cycling stood us in good stead,
And then there was the effect of food
And the prospect of a 'comfy' bed
Welcome to China, said a boy called Sun
Outside the supermarket
Where Brenda and the girls had fun
Making each a photo target.
Oh Chokali, that's chocolate
We searched and found some Dove
Hitherto I'd been disconsolate
But Toblerone I'll love.
Day 7 Yangshan to Lianshan
So far we've liked all the tea in China
But the weather today was wet
How we wished it could get finer
But on that I'm not placing a bet.
So up in the van to the home of the Yao
Little minority people we learnt
They hadn't liked great Chairman Mao
Cos he rather have had them burnt.
Fancy dress and drums they played
Wearing quaint costumes of every hue,
Joined us in with plans they'd laid
To make Brenda dance and dress up too
Best of all were the headgear leases
Arranged by the little Yao ladies
Our "purchases" we found were teases,
To them we were but babies!
Day 8 Lianshan to Zhongshan
Tried some porridge instead of noodles
But others stuck to chillie.
Chinese characters seem like doodles
Must learn some, and not be silly
Left at nine to make the tunnel
Marking the end of Canton
Wet shoes still up to the gunwhale
Missed the soup from Wanton.
Ice cream stop as good as a freebie,
With crowds of happy faces
Wanting to stare at and touch each MTB
Look us over, from head to laces
Frank has nine lives, we discovered
Leading us through traffic all swirling,
The secret of pure tea uncovered,
The temperature outside was boiling.
Stan's lychees were surprisingly tasty
And Rick's dancing on pedals was fine
Slip-streaming a tuk tuk was hasty
And Brenda asked for our Zodiac sign
The picnic was simply humungous
Peanut butter on slices of bread
For supper we had chillie and fungus
I think China's going to my head.
Tonight we really had a fright
As boys robbed girls right before us
Clive to the rescue - what a sight!
Just hope the cops will ignore us.
Day 5 Qing Yuan to Jiu Long
After exiting Qing along Happy Valley
We embarked once more on bikes
A bit of banter, shilly shally
Clive and Ken became look-a-likes!
Some hills appeared as if on cue
With gradients unsympathetic
The silkworm's life was mostly new,
Entirely peripatetic
Karst scenery finally came and stayed
While we stopped and snapped
For some of us the day it made,
Most other hills they capped
Rounded off in the Caves of Heaven
Wearing life-jackets in a punt
Well behaved, Frank's team of seven
For photos we did hunt
Day 6 Jiu Long to Yangshan
Roads in China get built as you ride them,
Concrete swathes disgorging in ribbons,
Villagers gaze, don't seem to mind them
Eager to help though nothing to sit on.
We've learnt the Chinese Rule of the Road
Keep moving and do not hesitate!
Accidents can happen despite the code
For some today that was their fate
Scooter carrying one plus two
Met bike on opposite side
For us there was no time to rue
Went to help, but one man died.
Lunch thereafter was somewhat subdued
But cycling stood us in good stead,
And then there was the effect of food
And the prospect of a 'comfy' bed
Outside the supermarket
Where Brenda and the girls had fun
Making each a photo target.
Oh Chokali, that's chocolate
We searched and found some Dove
Hitherto I'd been disconsolate
But Toblerone I'll love.
Day 7 Yangshan to Lianshan
So far we've liked all the tea in China
But the weather today was wet
How we wished it could get finer
But on that I'm not placing a bet.
So up in the van to the home of the Yao
Little minority people we learnt
They hadn't liked great Chairman Mao
Cos he rather have had them burnt.
Fancy dress and drums they played
Wearing quaint costumes of every hue,
Joined us in with plans they'd laid
To make Brenda dance and dress up too
Best of all were the headgear leases
Arranged by the little Yao ladies
Our "purchases" we found were teases,
To them we were but babies!
But others stuck to chillie.
Chinese characters seem like doodles
Must learn some, and not be silly
Left at nine to make the tunnel
Marking the end of Canton
Wet shoes still up to the gunwhale
Missed the soup from Wanton.
Ice cream stop as good as a freebie,
With crowds of happy faces
Wanting to stare at and touch each MTB
Look us over, from head to laces
Day 9 Zhongshan to Yangshuo
End of the line in tourist city
Far too many of them, like us;
Sellers seeking to sell, in the ditty!
Biking before was far less fuss.
Looking for coffee and even wall-hangings,
Folks from all over you are bound to meet,
No soft touches, but firecracker bangings,
While everyone says their goods are a treat.
Peter the Greeter and Stanley the Man
Brenda so tender and Richard the knife
All are as brilliant as only they can -
Frank deals so well with our trouble and strife
Day 10 Yanshuo - Li river bike and boat ride
The dusty road has come and gone
Replaced by sinuous tar,
Made the bike ride far more fun
Than travelling in a car.
Sure we've seen a limestone pillar
And punts upon the river Li
A chinese hand upon the tiller
Ferrying us towards the sea
Music sounding by the roadside
Took us in to have a look.
A fiddler, while our time did bide,
Played a sweet melodic hook.
Day 11 Yangshuo bike ride and cormorant show
Last trip on the bikes, without Moon Hill
And ladies selling, selling water.
Of them we'd certainly had our fill
Preferred riding on bricks and mortar.
Rode through many stunning valleys
Flanked by limestone pillars
Didn't stop to dilly dally
Sped up and down the hilly killers.
Finally after dinner in the town
Said goodbye to Chein and Long
And the bikes we'd called our own
Should have given them a service gong.
Cormorants swimming in the dark
Catching tiddlers in their beaks
Engaging punters in the park
Hoping the boat has no leaks.
Glenfiddich seconds and almost thirds
With raucous tales of derring-do
And Ozzie tips on handling birds
Or teasing those they knew how to.
Day 12 to Xi'an
Stan has gone to Shangri La
And Peter's off to Paris
We're in Xi'an, it's not too far
Frank for the food didn't tarry.
Day 13 Xi'an
Warriors all made from terra cotta,
Pagoda's wild goose chase,
269 steps, got hotter and hotter,
Umbrellas and flimsy lace.
Day 14 Xi'an
Up on the ramparts round Xi'an City
At first it rained and then it didn't
Cycling/touring - like Walter Mitty;
Hired bikes - change gear they wouldn't!
End of the line in tourist city
Far too many of them, like us;
Sellers seeking to sell, in the ditty!
Biking before was far less fuss.
Looking for coffee and even wall-hangings,
Folks from all over you are bound to meet,
No soft touches, but firecracker bangings,
While everyone says their goods are a treat.
Brenda so tender and Richard the knife
All are as brilliant as only they can -
Frank deals so well with our trouble and strife
Day 10 Yanshuo - Li river bike and boat ride
The dusty road has come and gone
Replaced by sinuous tar,
Made the bike ride far more fun
Than travelling in a car.
And punts upon the river Li
A chinese hand upon the tiller
Ferrying us towards the sea
Music sounding by the roadside
Took us in to have a look.
A fiddler, while our time did bide,
Played a sweet melodic hook.
Day 11 Yangshuo bike ride and cormorant show
Last trip on the bikes, without Moon Hill
And ladies selling, selling water.
Of them we'd certainly had our fill
Preferred riding on bricks and mortar.
Rode through many stunning valleys
Flanked by limestone pillars
Didn't stop to dilly dally
Sped up and down the hilly killers.
Finally after dinner in the town
Said goodbye to Chein and Long
And the bikes we'd called our own
Should have given them a service gong.
Catching tiddlers in their beaks
Engaging punters in the park
Hoping the boat has no leaks.
Glenfiddich seconds and almost thirds
With raucous tales of derring-do
And Ozzie tips on handling birds
Or teasing those they knew how to.
Day 12 to Xi'an
Stan has gone to Shangri La
And Peter's off to Paris
We're in Xi'an, it's not too far
Frank for the food didn't tarry.
Day 13 Xi'an
Warriors all made from terra cotta,
Pagoda's wild goose chase,
269 steps, got hotter and hotter,
Umbrellas and flimsy lace.
Day 14 Xi'an
Up on the ramparts round Xi'an City
At first it rained and then it didn't
Cycling/touring - like Walter Mitty;
Hired bikes - change gear they wouldn't!
Beijing
Day 15 to Beijing
Trainfull of Danes built for rugger
Thro' the night, a prayer on a wing,
The Emperor was a horny old bugger -
First thoughts of weary, ancient Beijing.
Tiananmen Square and Old Mao's tomb
Belie the huge development
Fuelled by the colossal boom
That'll make it China's firmament.
Day 16 The Great Wall
Up multiple steps, through seas of hawkers
We found this impressive, rice-glued wall -
With forts for archers bowling yorkers
Against Mongolians they didn't like at all.
So up and down and along we went
Till the hill sign said Hollywood
In Chinese, that's what it meant -
For photographs we posed and stood.
Describe our consternation
When a bride and groom we found,
Beyond wildest imagination
For adverts, I'll be bound
Lunch on the way back home -
The Dong Jiao Min Xiang place
Pretty posh and then some,
Somewhere to stay and not lose face.
Day 17 - Last day in Beijing
"Not luxurious imagination"
But a walk around the lake
Summer Palace a fascination,
Caligraphy lessons I did take.
Seen the biggest Buddha in the world,
Peking duck tonight we'll get
Lahma'd out and flags all furled
For the airport we're all set.
Trainfull of Danes built for rugger
Thro' the night, a prayer on a wing,
The Emperor was a horny old bugger -
First thoughts of weary, ancient Beijing.
Tiananmen Square and Old Mao's tomb
Belie the huge development
Fuelled by the colossal boom
That'll make it China's firmament.
Day 16 The Great Wall
Up multiple steps, through seas of hawkers
We found this impressive, rice-glued wall -
With forts for archers bowling yorkers
Against Mongolians they didn't like at all.
So up and down and along we went
Till the hill sign said Hollywood
In Chinese, that's what it meant -
For photographs we posed and stood.
Describe our consternation
When a bride and groom we found,
Beyond wildest imagination
For adverts, I'll be bound
The Dong Jiao Min Xiang place
Pretty posh and then some,
Somewhere to stay and not lose face.
Day 17 - Last day in Beijing
"Not luxurious imagination"
But a walk around the lake
Summer Palace a fascination,
Caligraphy lessons I did take.
Seen the biggest Buddha in the world,
Peking duck tonight we'll get
Lahma'd out and flags all furled
For the airport we're all set.
Postscript
Well, China was quite amazing
The old, the new, and ever onwards;
We'll teach our kids some Mandarin
In 70 years they may be landlords.
Say a thank to World Expeditions
They did us proud and found the bikes
To deal with every road condition,
Sorted all our likes and dislikes.
Frank gets the prize for guide superior
Became a friend, no apologist,
We never suspected a motive ulterior,
He goes straight to the top of the list.
Glutinous rice is the name of the game!
Hotel is called it, Wall is cemented
With lime; but it's food just the same.
If I see any more, I'll go demented.
Tonight cooked a steak on the barbie,
Jamie's spuds, steamed courgettes and leek.
Tomorrow I'm watching the Derby -
Of chopsticks I'm unlikely to speak.
Yet - and yet - China's so big.
It's colossal and growing so fast.
From cultural oblivion, they're something to dig.
One thing's for sure, they'll never be last.
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